with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
