true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
