he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
