He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
