why didn't you poke me back
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
