Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
