My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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