His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
