we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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