Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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