So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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