Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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