How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
