the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
