I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
