Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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