I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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