We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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