so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
