Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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