Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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