dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he puts the penis in happiness.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
