Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
