I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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