My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
