I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
wanna go halves on a baby?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
