Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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