i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
