Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
