I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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