So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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