I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
