It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
