I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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