do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
