Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
