"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
