So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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