on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
