my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
