im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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