If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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