My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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