AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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