Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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