Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
