I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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