Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
