dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
