yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Your cock deserves a montage
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
