I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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