a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I know her cup size but not her name....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
