I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
